Who am I without God?

Who am I without God?

I am a person who, driven by my need to be accepted and loved, speaks what I think others want to hear rather than my own discerning,
seeks to fill my need to be loved in the vulnerabilities of others,
feels superior to others in my heart but never gives a hint of it in action,
trades fantasies of love for the hard work and dangers of relationships,
envies the success of others,
secretly gloats over the failure of those who are above me,
is frightened of his own and others’ intimacy.

I am a person who, driven by my need for regard,
bases my self regard on what others think,
tries to earn regard by being good rather than by being Bill,
lies to avoid the displeasure of others.

I am a person who thinks that I must earn the love of others and the love of God by doing more, doing it better, doing it faster, doing it smarter, doing it more sensitively, doing it more articulately, doing it more efficiently, doing it more joyfully, doing it more often
without realizing that such love is love of it, not me.

With God,

I am the Beloved Son who has everything and needs nothing, a person who acts in the wisdom and love of God freely and joyfully.

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